Rise in cases of domestic abuse causes alarm

Bridport Police Inspector Mike Darby says domestic violence figures in Bridport have nearly doubled in the last year.

He said: “There were 57 cases last year and 100 this year – a 75.4 per cent increase. Our policy around it is so strong because it is murder prevention.

“Eight out of 10 murders are domestic violence.

“Rarely does it come to that but it does happen. We have had three this year in Dorset alone – all domestic.”

This week is Domestic Violence Awareness week and Dorset Police are gearing up to launch Operation Maple in the run-up to Christmas in a bid to protect victims.

He said: “It doesn’t start off with the husband beating the wife around the head.

“It starts off with a swearing, then a punch, two months later something else happens and it increases.

“We need people to realise at an early stage that that one off-incident, when it has happened three times, is no longer a one-off incident. This is a pattern starting which we see time and time again “Once that pattern starts it is never going to stop unless the person does something about it.

“Doing nothing tends not to be the solution.

“If the victims do nothing suddenly now it ‘acceptable’ and they have done nothing about and the abuser feels they can get away with it – in their psyche they feel it is acceptable.

“Report things as early you can because we have processes in place where we can help.”

He said although there was without a doubt under reporting he hoped the increased figures reflect victims’ increased confidence in coming forward.

“I am hoping that crime isn’t increasing but people are feeling more confident to contact us.”

The definition of abuse includes emotional abuse but proving it was more of a challenge but there were specialist teams of police to deal with it.

“If people think they can get away with stuff they will carry on doing it. Domestic abuse is about control and bullying.

“If we are called and when we get there the person who called suddenly says nothing has happened we are not going to take that at face value.

“We will investigate and if we believe an offence has taken place we will deal positively with it because you can’t put that decision down to the person who two minutes before we turned up is being abused and then expect them to make a rational decision.”

My 15 years of control and cruelty

A 48-year-old Bridport woman was brave enough to speak to the News of her 15 years with an abusive partner – with the perspective of five years free of him.

Even now she cannot see her escape or the fact she is now self-employed in accountancy is anything to be proud of. That is down to the years of emotional abuse that left her depressed with no self-confidence and low self-esteem.

Here is her story: At first the relationship was fine and she was soon expecting their first child.

Then began a long, downward spiral to drink, depression and debilitating lack of confidence.

She said: “He only hit me once or twice.

“But it was the mental cruelty that took all my confidence. After 15 years I felt everything was my fault, I had depression, my children suffered through the arguments every day - day and night, they were going to bed crying not knowing what was going on.

“Even now it is the children who suffer more.

“My self-esteem was zero. I felt like I was worthless. Even five years later I still don’t feel confident or capable of trusting anyone.

“We did have good days when things were fine but if things didn’t go his way it would all start – the name calling, he said I was worthless, I was like a sack of potatoes.

“He was controlling. I lost all my friends and was isolated.

“When my children were a bit older I took a part-time job but I was accused of doing things with my bosses. I was never allowed to go out, or if he came with me when we got home I would be accused of fancying other men and that kind of thing.

“In the end just getting out of bed was an effort for me.

“The more things he said to me the worse the sexual side of the relationship became.”

She was made to feel as if that was her fault and went to sexual therapy where she was told it was the relationship making her the way she was. She was told she needed to be strong and get out of it.

“I felt I couldn’t talk to anyone in case it got back to him and then it would be 20 times worse. That’s what stopped me from seeking more help. I struggled doing it on my own, I started drinking heavily to try and numb myself to try and forget it. Slowly I thought, ‘I have nothing to lose’.

“Then one morning on my birthday I just got out of bed and left. Even after I left he told the children I was prostituting.

“At one stage he said my son was not his child. He still says it was all my fault.

“He said I would never be able to survive on my own.

“My advice is to get out as soon as you can because they will destroy your self-esteem.

“It is scary especially if you have children, but just get out because there is help out there for you. Do not stay in any relationship where the man abuses you, even if it is not physical “A lot of people don’t realise because they don’t hit you they don’t realise mental abuse is as bad. Sometimes I wished he would hit me instead of the mental abuse. A lot of people are scared because if you go to these places they think their partner will find too and it will be worse.”

No typical victim

Cllr Molly Rennie, chairman of the Domestic Violence Forum said it was not clear whether increased figures for domestic violence was down to more awareness and confidence from victims to report abuse or whether it was actually on the increase.

But what was sure was that there was no typical victim.

She said: “It is nothing to do with poverty, it is nothing to do with alcohol, nothing to do with drugs, it is nothing to do with them but they exacerbate the situation but they are not the reason why.”

She said Christmas was often a catalyst because people are trying to make it perfect

She said: “There are always spaces before Christmas because people think ‘I don’t want to spoil

Christmas for the children; I’ll give it another try’ and then after Christmas there is a massive demand for refuge spaces and support services.”

Cllr Rennie added: “Dorset has refuges all over the county. We have safe houses. Sometimes a breathing space is what people need.”

Men can suffer as well

DOMESTIC abuse doesn’t just happen to women.

Although figures say that one in four women will suffer domestic abuse in their lives – so will one in six men.

In Dorset, Police and Crime Commissioner Martyn Underhill is funding courses for male victims, which will begin in January.

Police and Crime Commissioner Martin Underhill said: “These courses help you cope with where you are now and where you are moving to.

“Some of it is about changing your attitudes to our future partners which may help protect you. So whether you are male or female these courses help enable you, help raise your self esteem, help you prevent being a victim in the future.

The men’s course will be run as a pilot in the Dorchester area on a Thursday between 7pm and 9pm.

The course is based on NHS NICE guidelines for treating Post Stress Disorder Type 2, which is frequently experienced by victims of domestic abuse.

Guy Stovold and Jo Keane will run the courses. Domestic Abuse Intervention Training runs three different types of course for victims – the freedom programme, pattern changing and recovery toolkit.

'We will protect you and prosecute the offenders'

DORSET Police detective Inspector for Serious Crime Investigations, Joe Williams said despite the increase in figures in Bridport it has the lowest number of reported domestic abuse incidents in the county.

But protecting victims and prosecuting offenders remained a force priority, he said. “If you commit an act of domestic abuse against your partner, expect to be arrested, dealt with robustly and go through the Criminal Justice System if appropriate. Domestic abuse offences can attract significant custodial sentences.

“We are determined to support victims in reporting these crimes, and make sure those who inflict abuse are brought to justice.

“This is a Force priority.”

The police will be out in force with Operation Maple over the festive period with additional specially trained officers targeting serial perpetrators of domestic abuse and ensuring effective safeguarding measures are put in place in relation to children and vulnerable adults.

Dorset Police have extra powers through the recently introduced Domestic Violence Protection Notices and Orders, to bar a suspected perpetrator of domestic violence from contacting a victim and stop them returning to a victim’s home.

Members of the public can also apply to the police on 101 under the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (Clare’s Law) for a disclosure on a suspected offender’s past history known as the ‘right to ask’.

The scheme is for anyone in an intimate relationship regardless of gender.

Anybody can make an enquiry, but information will only be given to someone at risk or a person in a position to safeguard the victim.

Partner agencies can also request disclosure is made of an offender’s past history where it is believed someone is at risk of harm. This is known as ‘right to know’.

More information on support services in Dorset can be found at: dorsetforyou.com/dvahelp DORSET Police detective Inspector for Serious Crime Investigations, Joe Williams, pictured left, said despite the increase in figures in Bridport it has the lowest number of reported domestic abuse incidents in the county.

But protecting victims and prosecuting offenders remained a force priority, he said. “If you commit an act of domestic abuse against your partner, expect to be arrested, dealt with robustly and go through the Criminal Justice System if appropriate. Domestic abuse offences can attract significant custodial sentences.

“We are determined to support victims in reporting these crimes, and make sure those who inflict abuse are brought to justice.

“This is a Force priority.”

The police will be out in force with Operation Maple over the festive period with additional specially trained officers targeting serial perpetrators of domestic abuse and ensuring effective safeguarding measures are put in place in relation to children and vulnerable adults.

Dorset Police have extra powers through the recently introduced Domestic Violence Protection Notices and Orders, to bar a suspected perpetrator of domestic violence from contacting a victim and stop them returning to a victim’s home.

Members of the public can also apply to the police on 101 under the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (Clare’s Law) for a disclosure on a suspected offender’s past history known as the ‘right to ask’.

The scheme is for anyone in an intimate relationship regardless of gender.

Anybody can make an enquiry, but information will only be given to someone at risk or a person in a position to safeguard the victim.

Partner agencies can also request disclosure is made of an offender’s past history where it is believed someone is at risk of harm. This is known as ‘right to know’.

More information on support services in Dorset can be found at: dorsetforyou.com/dvahelp 

• Domestic Abuse Intervention Training: Pauline Collier: course facilitator: 07747 705916 Jo Keane: course facilitator: 07826 077525 DAIT: 01305 265148 dait@talktalk.net
• Dorset Police (in an emergency always dial 999) 101
• National Support for Victims: National DV Helpline (24-hour) 0808 2000247
• National Men’s Advice Line (for male victims) 0808 8010327
• Local Support for victims You First (Dorset County Outreach) 0800 0325204 (24-hour telephone line)
• Childline (for children) 0800 1111