GRUFF-VOICED comedian Simon Evans is completing his Leashed tour in Dorchester next Friday, December 5 with his brand of super-sharp dry wit.

In the midst of a car breakdown crisis, Simon speaks to The Guide’s Joanna Davis.

SIMON Evans is in his car waiting for the fourth emergency service.

He’s got a flat tyre on a vehicle which he bought just 48 hours ago.

This adds an element of frisson to our interview as he plugs me into bluetooth in his car and we have however long it takes for the AA to arrive to chat.

“I used to be a car buff,” Simon tells me. “The other day I found some old books and memorabilia – I used to love fenders and all of that.

“Sadly I’ve never had the money to do it properly and have had to buy used cars which is why this type of thing always happens.”

And hence, the reason why the star of BBC1’s Live at the Apollo and C4’s Stand Up For The Week finds himself stranded in his ‘new’ vehicle waiting for the AA.

With Dorchester the last leg of his tour, Simon can safely say it’s gone ‘very well’.

When asked what his biggest gripe is with modern life, Simon says his main bugbear is ‘dog ownership’.

“It seems to be so different from how it used to be.

“People make life stressful for themselves. Dogs used to eat food off your plate but now dogs seem to be eating organic food and they have to be walked by professional dog walkers and can’t just walk in your garden.

“The dogs are all wearing Barbour overcoats.

“It’s particularly bad in our street where the peer pressure from everyone with their dogs forces you to behave in a certain way. It’s just a ploy from all these companies to get money out of you.”

Simon and his family have a Hungarian Vizsla dog named Ballantine, after a brand of whisky, and much more can be learnt about Ballantine’s adventures at the gig, Simon tells me.

And then, just as we are getting onto the topic of the most obscure places Simon has performed shows at, the White Knight from the AA shows up.

Around 20 minutes later Simon is on the road again and cheerily calls me back – at which point we both agree this is an excellent advert for the breakdown service.

I ask the married father how his comedy has evolved over the years. He said: “It’s become a bit more embittered.

“Comedy is a bit like the blues – the point of it is you’re not there to make people feel better. I don’t like comedy that’s about people sharing their happiness.”

Simon’s DVD ‘Simon Evans: Live at the Theatre Royal’ is out now.

“They’re a good thing to give as a Christmas present.

“They’re nice and compact and you can even get rid of the case and store them in one of those wallet things.”

And it’s a quiet family Christmas Simon has in store at his home in Brighton.

And here’s the point where that magical in-car Bluetooth line lets us down.

“We’ve got a new kitchen so it should be fun,” he says.

“Sounds great,” I say, “But does it have one of those islands?”

And then the ever-so-long phone pause in which the interviewee thinks the interviewer is bonkers.

“Oh, it’s a kitten,” Simon says, “not a kitchen.”

And then he moves on to pondering just what an island for a kitten would be like – could you make one like the Tracy Island model, which had Blue Peter viewers going berserk with egg boxes back in the 90s?

It seems like a good way to end our conversation, and I leave Simon to make his way back home to his Barbour-coated dog.

l Simon Evans ‘Leashed’ is at Dorchester Corn Exchange on December 5.